All quiet on the posting front

No posts for a little while, because of this and because of this (which was posted on another forum asking for advice on the matter; forum membership is required to read it though, so instead of providing a link an abridged version is reproduced here):

Post 1

I was woken at 07:30 this morning by my next door neighbour...he had just seen another of our neighbours reverse out of her drive and into the side of my car, and then drive off. Very nice and community-minded of him to come round and tell me, and lucky he did or I wouldn't have known about it (I have tonsillitis so I wouldn't have left the house all day). Now, I was fairly annoyed at this, but I thought I'd let the tablets I'd just popped take effect before going out into the cold.

So at about 08:00, and Nurofenned up to the eyeballs, I ventured out and down the road to where my car was parked - opposite The Reverser's drive - with my camera phone to take some photos. I took some of my car door - dented, scratched, and streaked with red paint - and I took some of her car bumper - pretty much undamaged but smudged with blue paint. I thought about knocking on her door to ask to swap details then, but she had no lights on so I thought I'd wait until a more sociable hour. I'm nice like that, see.

Next time I looked her car was gone, and I assume she had gone off to work (luckily she missed my car this time), so when I saw lights on at 18:00 I wandered down there with my insurance documents. I should point out that her blue-smudged red car was nowhere to be seen...

"Hello," I said, "I've just popped round to swap insurance details."

"What?" she said.

"Erm...my car...?"

"What about it?"

"I thought you reversed into it."

"No, not me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Did you see who did, then?"

"No."

"Oh. Oh, well, I suppose I'm going to have to involve the police then, as it looks like a hit and run."

"I suppose you will."

"You sure it wasn't you?"

"Yup."

"Does seem strange though. I mean, my car's parked right opposite your drive, there's red paint on my blue car and there's blue paint on your red car. I even took some photos."

"What with?"

"Erm...my camera phone?"

"Oh, your phone. I see."

"And my next-door neighbour saw you reverse into it."

"Did he now."

"Yes."

"Wasn't me."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"You're seriously just going to take the p1ss?"

"I do what I like. Always have. [her exact words!]"

"I can't believe this. So you're refusing to swap details, even though I have photos of your car's paint on the damage, photos of my car's paint on your bumper, and an eyewitness account of what happened?"

"Tell you what, you leave your insurance details with me and I'll think about it."

Then she slammed the door in my face.

(I should point out that this exchange, when written, doesn't begin to convey the arrogance that was in her voice.)

Ooh, I was livid. I was spitting feathers (well, more phlegm than feathers, but I do have tonsillitis). So I went to my next door neighbour and asked him if he'd back me up - he said yes - and then I went to the police station and filled in some forms. The desk officer blokey said that someone would be allocated to it tomorrow and they'd come and talk to me and to her (and I assume to my next-door neighbour).

Post 2 (the next day)

I just got out of bed (yes, I know it's 09:00, but I'm still ill) and looked out of my window - half expecting to find my tyres slashed - and by chance saw her reversing her car out of her garage. So I grabbed my phone (only thing to hand with a camera on it) and wandered down to get a photo of her bumper with the number plate in it, on the pretense of getting my MOT certificate out of my car, for insurance purposes, like.

When I got down there, there was an envelope on my car windscreen. As I opened it she got out of her car and wandered over. The note in the envelope said "Hey, life's too short - call me today and we'll swap details."

"Morning!" she shrieked.

"Hello," I said.

"I just want you to know that it wasn't your negotiation skills that made me change my mind. [Either she reversed into my car or she didn't...I wasn't aware that it had to be negotiated!]"

"I thought you said you didn't do it. Are you saying you did now?"

"I'm not admitting anything."

"So you didn't do it, but you're willing to pay for it?"

"I've got insurance. I hope you have."

"Er...yes, I came round last night to swap it, remember? Oh, and I should let you know that you might get a call from the police at some point today."

"You called the police?"

"Well of course, it's a hit and run. I want to find out who did it."

"They won't get involved in civil stuff! Do you think I'm stupid?"

I bit my tongue; I assumed she meant it rhetorically.

So I got into my car and fished around in the glove compartment, and she got in her car and started reversing out. While she was doing this she was still talking to me, but I wasn't really listening - if her insurance is paying for it then I don't care what else she has to say. Then I got the file out of my car and got out, and the last thing she said before she drove off was "And don't you try and make out it's worse than it is! I took photos as well!"

So that's the week Ecks has had. Illness and further proof that common decency isn't actually very common at all, rounding off his annus horribilis perfectly. Roll on 2006, then he can erase 2005, in its entirety, from his mind.

Normal service will be resumed shortly...