Dumb all over

Close the door. OK, good. Nathan, you're up for sentry duty today. Keep your eye on that corridor. OK, let's begin. Just stop me any time you want to ask a question.

Today we will be discussing gravity, and examining the flaws in Mr Perkins' astrology classes. And yes, children, there are flaws. I assume you have all heard of Sir Isaac Newton? No? How very sad. When I was younger everyone had heard of him. He was--

Yes, Jay? Well, that was a long time ago, before all the changes, and we are not here to reminisce. But I am an old man and I admit that nostalgia is my morphia, so I suppose we can perhaps talk a little on history as well...

It was different then, very different. Back then we had our own classes in schools and universities. Hell, there were universities. We had some respect. Men and women worked hard to mine the vast bleak face of our ignorance, chipping away at it, adding piece by painstaking piece to our collective understanding of the world. Those men and women will all be dead by now. And their work - decades, centuries of work - all gone. You wouldn't know it, of course; all the books have been destroyed, all the records altered, and anyone who spoke up just quietly disappeared. I mean, I'm taking a risk just telling you this. So don't you breathe a word of this to anyone. You keep attending your theology classes and your faith healing seminars and your Intelligent Design workshops, but on the inside you keep on questioning. Question everything. Then here, and only here, can you say it. And only then in a whisper.

Go ahead. Whisper it with me now:

Science.