Letters received whilst away on holiday

18 July

Mr Kernow

We have your daughter. Enclosed with this letter is a photograph of her with my associate, Mr Aries, as proof of life. You will see that he is holding today's Times. If you wish to see her alive again, you will deposit a briefcase containing £8,000,000 in unmarked, non-consecutive notes on the bench facing the pond in Logan Park at 12:00 on the 21st of July. Any police involvement will, of course, make Mr Capricorn very unhappy. He is the one in the photo holding the knife.

Mr Leo

22 July

Mr Kernow

Mr Pisces informs me that no briefcase was left on the bench yesterday. This is most unexpected, but we will give you the benefit of the doubt this once and assume that there was simply some misunderstanding, and will for now leave all of your daughter's appendages attached to her body. As a result of the inconvenience incurred, however, the transaction fee ("ransom" is such an uncouth word, don't you think?) has inflated to £9,000,000. Please leave this money in a sports holdall in the skip behind Bradshaw Shoe Repairs at 17:30 on the 25th of July. The same terms and conditions as before still apply, of course.

Mr Leo

26 July

Mr Kernow

Mr Pisces is getting tired of making wasted journeys, Mr Kernow, and Mr Capricorn so hates to see Mr Pisces unhappy that he lopped off one of your daughter's fingers before Mr Aries and I could stop him. I have enclosed it in this letter. See what a neat job Mr Capricorn's knife did? He is a very keen amateur butcher, and he just loves to practise. In fact, the only technique he has yet to master is the severance of a head from a body, and you should assume that he will take whatever opportunities he can get to perfect that one. I will be sure to send you the results of his handiwork should the chance arise.

The fee is now £10,000,000. Leave it in a packing crate under the south strut of the Wilkinson-MacNay bridge at 20:00 on the 29th of July. I should advise you, however, that non-payment will result in the termination of our business arrangement and the subsequent liquidation of all assets that we hold.

Mr Leo

30 July

Mr Kernow

Mr Capricorn has grown tired of waiting for you to furnish us with our fee, so today he finally got around to perfecting that technique I was telling you about. I am sure you will be impressed - I will post the result of it to you so that you can examine his handiwork.

I am, of course, disappointed that we could not come to some arrangement regarding finances, but I hope that we may part on cordial terms.

Best wishes

Mr Leo

1 August

Dear Mr Kernow

We called at 08:33 on the 1st of August, but you weren't at home. There is a parcel being held for you at the Todcaster Sorting Office. If you do not claim it within 14 days it will be disposed of.

Regards

The Post Office