Oh Britannia

Neon lights the empire
Where the sun will never set
The Raj reborn in Bradford
With the hatred that begets
We swear at David Beckham
Red cross painted on our cheek
We don't vote, but we'll never miss
A Coronation Street
We'll give Sanjeev a kicking
When he's waiting for the bus
'Cos when he sings God Save The Queen
He knows more words than us
Oh Britannia, don't think that you'll never rule again
But please don't ask me how, my dear, and please don't ask me when

The lamb of god no longer
On these pleasant pastures seen
We burned him so that foot and mouth
Would not make us unclean
The dark satanic mills are closed
Jerusalem's not built
Now Chinese children make our shirts
Whilst we ignore the guilt
The Mersey's our clogged artery
The Severn is our vein
And though we all love progress
We just stay the bleedin' same
Oh Britannia, don't think that you'll never rule again
But not before you change, my dear, the hearts of Englishmen

An ancient, stagnant monarchy
Wrapped in our red-white-blue
The same Saxe-Coburg-Gotha
On the throne since '52
And whether they're for Labour
The Lib Dems or for the Tories
Cromwell's children seem content
Invoking faded glories
The English way, why are we
So afraid of being rude?
That upper lip stays far too stiff
When we're all being screwed
Oh Britannia, don't think that you'll never rule again
Just don't you hold your breath, my dear, you'll pass out in the end